Petunia rambles on and on….

Here’s the forecast.  I have to work every day until Tuesday.

Fort Lauderdale was so much more fun!

Geez. Already?

Usually I’m glad to see the winter passing quickly.  I don’t like cold, I don’t like SNOW which is the foulest four-letter-word of them all. I don’t like scraping ice off the windshield in the morning, I don’t like slipping on ice and falling on my ass, usually where others can see me go down and are too busy laughing to help. HOWEVER, I am now down to less than 5 weeks to work.  Most people who get laid off from their jobs get little notice.  Here’s your check, and, by the way, don’t bother coming back on Monday. Having a great deal of notice that it’s coming is better in some ways. Mainly financial reasons. No, I’m not booking the usual vacations in the Poconos; I’ve paid off all outstanding bills except the mortgage and car payment; I’ve already cut back on spending.  I cut back my Sirius package from the “Whole Lot of Shit Most of which I Don’t Listen to” to an ala carte plan, where I picked music channels only and will now pay about half of what I did before. I expect to cut back on the fat cell phone package in February when my contract comes up for renewal, and if necessary, I’ll get rid of it altogether. I did without cell phones for my first 50+ years!!  TV package is reduced, and I’ll surf back and forth between companies to keep TV/phone/internet services low. In preparation for that, I’m in the process of switching all my ISP-based e-mail to Yahoo or GMail accounts – do it once and then “oh, what a pain in the ass that’ll be” will not keep me from doing it.

But the time’s passing quickly. And the nerves and stress of watching it all approach is getting to me.  The stress of looking at all the others each day who are also losing their jobs and knowing that there’s no way of stopping this or changing it. The emotional ups and downs of every rumor or hope or hint that maybe, just maybe it’ll be delayed or cancelled.

So I knit.  Crap – I’m knitting plain, simple washclothes out of some cheap big-box cotton that I found in the back room!  Perhaps, after work, that’s all I’m able to accomplish?  That and worry about snow.  More coming in the next few days over the weekend, and again I’m scheduled to work. I’ve heard everything from 3-5 inches to well over 2 feet of snow is expected.  Guess this depends on which weatherman you listen to and what he’s smoked recently. Current thought is that this one coming will be as bad or worse than the one we had the week before Christmas! And I don’t think Delaware has bought a third snowplow, so there’s no reason to expect the clean-up afterwards will be any faster this time around.

But I did do a quick project.  When daughter was here about 2 or 3 weeks ago, she said that the little girl that lives across the street from her loves the mittens that I knit last year for K’s boys, and she really would like a pair. I had her draw around Alex’s hand on a piece of paper so I had an idea for size, found the pattern I used for the boys’ pairs and made a pair for her, and a hat to go with it.

AND they were all made out of left-over bits of wool that I had around here because I’m unable to throw ANYTHING out – but that’s a good thing. No expenditure to me, less yarn here, and the little miss is very pleased!

I need to blog more often.  I need to make those socks in that Cookie A pattern that I put on my “Helpful Things” page. I need to make a big batch of Sweet and Sour Chicken, because I like it and it re-heats well. I need to re-organize organize my sewing/knitting/spinning/quilting/crafting room. I need to get through the next 5 weeks, then go sign up for unemployment. I need to make Fettucine Alfredo, and make my own pasta from scratch with flour and egg mixed right on the counter and have it drying all over like I used to do, except now I have a big table to cover with dough. I need to learn how to relax; I’ve forgotten how.

Yes, snow is in the forecast.  Per the National Weather Service, we can expect it to start falling in about 12 hours, and less than 1/2 inch is expected during the day tomorrow (Saturday) and possibly another 1/2 inch during tomorrow night.

The entire freaking state will go into a frenzy over it.  I stopped on the way home to get milk, not out of fear of the storm but because we are down to about 1/4 cup of it left in the bottom of a gallon jug, I like a bowl of cereal in the morning and we both take milk in our coffee.  I needed milk! And as the store was running a 2/$5 on gallons of milk, I bought two. Not panic buying, just smart and cheap. People in the grocery store were looking frantically for milk, bread and toilet paper, which all seem to go together in this state when a storm is pending. 

This is one of those times when I wish I was born a poodle.

Time grows short on the job – we are scheduled to shut down operations in 5 weeks, putting our entire office out of work. While I’ll be entitled to unemployment compensation, that lasts just so long, and will be nowhere near my regular income. And there are no jobs.  Oh, there might be something out there for the young, college-educated ones with a job or two on their resumé. But I’ve got almost 40 years of experience in a field that is about as current as dinosaur herding.  When you’re closer to retirement age than you are to turning 40 (or to next Christmas!), you don’t stand a chance in this economy.  I have over a year before I could take an early-retirement Social Security pension, but if I take it that early, I get SO much less that it’s not enough to live on. Not enough to pay the mortgage, basic utilities and groceries.

People say – Tighten your belt, and sure, there are places where we can pare our expenditures down. Crafts/yarn spending may be done, we can remember to turn off some lights, turn down the heat a bit more, reduce the cell-phone package or get rid of it altogether, and it’ll help, but not substantially, not enough. It’ll slow our descent, but not stop it. Some fool told me to go back to school!!  I’m almost 61. No credits I earned “back in the day” would still be valid, so we’re talking about starting at Square One. Four years of school – yeah, right. Who is gonna hire someone 65 years old, with a brand-new ink-still-wet diploma and no experience in the new field?  Any employer would figure that you’d retire or die before they even got you fully acclimated and trained. I certainly would think that myself about a prospective employee.  (Let’s pick one that looks like she might live long enough to get out of the probationary period!) And yeah, they’re not allowed to discriminate against a prospective employee because of age; we all know that.  So they say they found someone more qualified, or is more closely aligned with their objectives.

We all keep hoping that “the powers that be” will realize that this is not in the best interest of the entity we serve; that while it will save some money, the loss in service provided will be felt by many who depend on us. But serving people, helping people, giving back to those who have given so much doesn’t seem to matter as much as it use to.  Apparently saving a few dollars here so you can piss it away over there is more important.

When we’re all this close to the edge, it’s hard to hold out much hope that something will come along and alter the course.