Petunia rambles on and on….

Last night, I wrapped.  I wrapped and wrapped until my back was screaming obscenities at me.  Said to hubby, “Do you have any Aleve here in the house?”   (He takes them to work with him, and often leaves them in his truck) 

He asks, “How many do you want?”   

“Nine” 

“No, No, you can only take two at a time.”

“Nine.”

“Why’s your back hurting so badly today?  You were off.  I’m the one that worked all day.”  His tone-of-voice said clearly, “While all you do is relax in a bath of warm milk, while servants peel fruit and pop it into your mouth when I’m out slaving away.”

“Because I spent the day Christmas shopping.  I was at the Mall.  I walked the whole length of the mall from bottom to top, and then back again cause that’s where I left the damned car.  I walked back and forth between two different items in two different stores 3 times, trying to make up my mind which one was a better deal, then decided I didn’t want either one.   I stood (and that’s the very worst on my back, just standing in one place) looking at the different LCD/Plasma TV’s, trying to make up my mind.  I did.  I picked out a Sony Bravia that I wanted to buy for you and knew you would love.  Then I realized that, despite all the talk of sales, I’d still have to sell a kidney to buy one.  For a while I thought – Maybe I could get a decent deal on a lung and thought of you, dear.  If we could sell that crappy lung of yours, the one that doesn’t work anyway, we could afford this TV???   Maybe not.  So then I tried to think of who I still needed to buy for, and damn near passed out from the heat of wearing a damn winter coat INSIDE a heated mall.   I stood in line at the card store just to look at the cards, then again stood in line to pay for the ones I chose.  I dug through piles and piles of kids clothes, trying to find not one but two of anything that caught my eye, for the twins, those TWO little fellows.  When my back really started to scream, I was in the middle of the mall, laden down with bags that were cutting into my hands, dying of the heat caused by the winter coat and a stress-induced hot flash and realized that I had completely forgotten one of the kids.  Son of a bitch!  One of my own kids!!  Then I went to Sam’s Club (a discount bulk quantity store).  They did not have the Bruschetta, the one thing I specifically went into the store for.  I went around and around, looking for it, hoping I was just too stupid tired to remember where it was the last time I bought it.  No luck.  I got hit in the ass by a large shopping cart whose driver’s vision was completely blocked by a large damn Sony Bravia TV – which was the real irony here.  I almost got my leg broke by someone who presumably could afford that set.  Right in front of me, a customer dropped and broke open a bag of flour.  I watched it happen and STILL almost did a “header” in the slippery mess.   I went through the entire frozen food section 5 times before finding one item.  Either they just put them out between my 4th and 5th pass of that spot, or I shouldn’t be allowed out by myself any longer.   Then, in the bitter cold and wind, I carried all this shit out into the car and then into the house and then cooked your dinner, dear.  I folded 3 loads of laundry, cleaned up the dinner mess, and found everything I need to get this wrapping chore done.

“The only time I’ve sat down all day was the 20-minute haircut at 11:30 this morning and once, I sat down to pee.

 

He gave me a handful of Aleve and stayed out of my way for the rest of the evening.

I went to bed last night thinking of all the chores still yet to do.  All the stores to go to, gifts still to be bought, not a damn one wrapped yet.  A thousand things to do today, including a haircut somewhere in all of it.   And I get in the stores and can’t remember what I bought for who!   Geez!

This morning, before I even headed out the door, I was ready to quit.  Ice everywhere.  My car looked like an igloo – see, ice storms are very unusual in this area.  Last really bad ice storm I remember was maybe ’96.  Every tree limb in town broke, took out the power lines on their way to blocking all the roads. The state was practically shut down for days.

I took this of the tree in our front yard, while standing on the porch.  I was afraid to try going down the steps!  If I’d fallen and landed on my ass, I think it would have knocked what little Christmas Spirit that’s left in me right out.

(Although Pop did buy a bottle of rum yesterday.  Guess he could see my “spirits” were flagging a bit)

We are enjoying the Christmas present that we got for ourselves – a Sirius Starmate 5 radio.  The unit came with connection for the car, but we also got the home docking thingie, that plugs into Pop’s receiver and the music comes out through the Bose system.   There’s a channel of ’60’s music only” and that’s what’s getting me through these last days of chores.

Hopefully, tonight, with it on really loud, I might get some of the wrapping done!

Still doing a wee bit of knitting at night, after I flop on the couch, dead-tired.  February Lady Sweater.

The repairman cometh.

And then he lefteth.

And a friggin’ part is on order.  Should be here in 3-4 days.  Ho! Ho! Ho!

That puts it here maybe Monday?

Then call them and schedule a service call.   Uh, could you stop by on Christmas Eve, please, ’cause all the kids are coming home, and their families, and they all expect ham, you see, and the damn thing has to be baked first, before I can serve it.  In the oven, sir.
So the oven needs to get hot, and stay hot, dependably.  for a couple of hours.
Please???

But the tree is up, and that’s a good thing.